Sores, boars, soars, and snores. Ai hiyena!

Or, as the old Jewish man in me might say, oy vey!

Yesterday was some kind of a day. Let's start at the top, shall we? BULLETED LIST ACTIVATE *brrzt*

Sores

• BLAM Woke up for a 6:30 departure = sleepy and dozy and generally unsavory attitudes
• Upon hitting up the Green monkey site with Jamie and Paddy, what do we find but no monkeys? 
• This is happening MUCH more often than I might like

• Therefore split the party - Paddy finds the group. At the top of a quarry. Covered in icy snow. That leads to a 75m drop. With a rock solid finish if you should slip up. Sketchy doesn't begin to cover the trek
• C'est la vie, we continue on...we drudge on, more like
• Ice + slush + sun + steep hills + hyper monkeys = exhausting field work (also sunburnt Mairin with windburn and weird cold-blisters all over my hands. Sun AND cold FTW)

Following monkeys as they run up and down an area called the Alps (I joke you not - these were some serious rocky ground protrusions) is killer for the legs though. I'm thinking of starting up a fitness routine called the Field Fifty - spend fifty days chasing 50 monkeys in 50cm of snow for 50 minutes of every hour. Guaranteed to at least make you a more patient person.

Also chilblains. Character and chilblains.

Boars

•  SUPER POSITIVE EVENT OF THE DAY GOES TO: BOAR SIGHTINGS! 

I knew there were wild boars in the area - heck, I've followed their tracks accidentally, seen the torn up earth evidence of their feeding, and stepping in their droppings. Never did I expect to see any.

BUT BLAMARAMA! At around 3, as the sun was starting to slant towards its less-deadly-angle, the monkeys go silent. Suddenly one alarm bark, then another, and the monkeys are running up the trees. Meanwhile, the other researchers and I have no idea what is going on. We are so far into the woods, there's no way that there are dogs or shepherds out here...
*shuffle shuffle*
"What's that?"
*snort shuffle*
Could it be?
ZOOM! Out of the woods runs this giant boar! An almost mythological beast, with a flowing brown mane and intimidating tusks runs along the hilltop, silhouetted perfectly against the blue sky. It was gorgeous! Snow spilling out from behind his feet, he ran around being territorial and manly and absolutely awe-inspiring. I had no idea that boars could be as big or as fast as this thing. Only after he had disappeared over the hill (after doing a lovely set of aggressive pirouettes) did I realize that we were in danger...before then I was just breathlessly amazed by this powerful creature.

Imagine this, but with added majesty

Wait, there's more! After walking over the hill to continue focalling monkeys, there was another snort and snuffle from across the valley. Not one, not two, but a whole family of boars rustled through the forest, complete with three baby piglets! GAH! SO CUTE AND SO AMAZING AND SO AWESOME!

Soars

• Warning - near death experience ahead, complete with dramatization fuelled by adrenaline.

After the final monkey was focalled, the final faecal sample was collected, and the monkeys settled in to sleep, we realized just how far we had come in the day. Paddy had no idea where we were ("Somewhere in the Alps, maybe? Portugal perhaps? I think the sun sets over Azrou, so if we walk this way..."). After trekking up a mini-mountain covered in ice so thick you had to stab your boots into the side to get any hold at all, we sorted out our directions as the last of the sun started to set over the hills. Not a good start to the walk back to the car.

We're moving along well, sliding as little as possible, when we reach a huge icy hill. This is not a small mound of dirt, but a 45 degree slope with no crunchable snow to be seen. Only a thick sheet of ice. Of course, we need to cross it. I went first, confident in my ability to hack a path across with my hiking boots.

It went something like this: kick the ground as hard as possible - boot creates a 2 inch shelf - use shelf to shift weight in order to kick the next step - repeat as required.

For the first 50 feet, this worked. Kick, shift, kick, shift...suddenly the rhythm changed when my kick failed to create a divet, and rather than shifting my weight onto a small ice shelf, I shifted it off the edge of the hill. There I was, gaining speed as I toppled down the hill towards a strand of oak trees, eagerly waiting to catch all of my momentum in an icy crunch.

As you may have figured out, no, I did not die. About 10 feet from the trees, I managed to flip myself over and stick my boots into the snow enough to stop. Luckily enough, I only sustained cuts along my hands, arms, and back with nothing deeper than a shallow slice.

I figure that I need to hurtle out of control down a steep hill at least once every 6 months to ensure that my adrenal glands are working. So far, can confirm, they are doing their bit.

Snores

• Unique cooking experience - I made a Moroccan dish for dinner - tajine (basically a sort of stew type thing...) with a bunch of vegetables, dates, tomatoes, and a curry base on quinoa, alongside a ramshackle banana bread 

Tajine (one variety, at least). I could, and plan to, eat this every day.

• Surprisingly delicious...still unclear whether this is the result of actual culinary ability or stomachs eager for calories in any form
• Of course, the flavour was likely augmented by impromptu dance parties and singing in the kitchen - research currently in progress

• Stomachs full and legs aching, it's time for sleep. All 6 hours of it...did I mention we leave the house at 6:30 now?

Bed. Sleep. Calm. Rest. Necessary things after a long day, wouldn't you say?

Unfortunately, the local dogs don't agree with this mentality. It's always a gamble with the pooches - which night is going to be calm? Which is going to be a futile effort in agonized wakefulness? Who knows?!

And although the mingling of dog howls and call to prayers from the mosque next door is stimulating enough to wake me up in the morning, I'd rather if they limited their activity to the hours after 5:30am. Maybe I'll put up fliers...anyone know how to say "Go the f**k to sleep" in Darija Arabic?